I’ve always responded with music; happiness, sadness, anger. The same is true for grief.

 

It was March 18, 2016; what would have been my dad’s 50th birthday. I had mixed feelings: on one hand, I was glad he was in a better place. On the other hand, I was melancholy that I couldn’t go over to his house and eat chips with sour cream, slurping and spooning Coke Icees while we watched black and white TV shows. Since I couldn’t see him anymore, I was at home, waiting for a friend to come over, and putting away the trinkets I had purchased at the mall earlier that day.Then, I decided to listen to some music.

I scrolled through my playlist, bored with the tempos I had tapped my feet to a thousand times over. Suddenly, I noticed a song I hadn’t heard.I clicked on the title, and the introductory piano sounded throughout my ear canal like an echo in a cave.”Welcome to the Black Parade” was a song I had previously suspected as boring,but halfway through the song the melody switches from a dainty piano to a hardcore electric guitar, and I busted out dancing the second I heard that first chord. I knew I looked like something between being electrocuted and having a spasm, but I didn’t care. I jumped up and down in my Gold Toe ankle socks and did a volleyball roll across my bed.I just let go, and the rest of the world was nonexistent; it was just me and my earbuds.

I was panting so hard when the song ended that my mom panicked, worried I was having a humongous asthma attack

 

Slam! I heard a car door shut outside my window. “She’s here!” I squealed, “ I’ll get the door, Mom!” I sprinted to the door of my colorful bedroom, hesitating for a moment. I looked at the photo of my dad and I on my first Christmas in the frame I had painted for him. I touched two fingers to my lips and pressed them to the cool glass.”I love you.” I whispered. Then, I jogged outside to greet Hannah, her mom, and her little sister, Emma. “ Hey, weirdo!” Hannah giggled.
I know now that my dad is not dead, but simply at a new stage in life. I guess you really can’t judge at a glance.

You say I’m disabled,

In a way, so are you,

We are no different.

I love to hear music,

I bet you do, too,

We are no different.

I want to express myself,

You do it all day,

We are no different.

I want to be normal,

You struggle to, too,

We are no different.

I have potential,

I see it in you,

We are no different.

I am imperfect,

You know you are, too,

We are no different.

We are both people,

You know it is true,

We are no different.